Journal #1: Two Blue Lines

              So, Matt and I have been trying to get pregnant for a couple months now. To be honest, I expected to get pregnant the day after I stopped taking my birth control (Ha!), but no. It took foooorrreevvverr. At least, it felt like forever (only 2 months) because we just want to be parents so bad! A lot of women in my family get pregnant easily, so I thought I would be no different. But then again, things take longer when you're on the pill. On April 23, I was just about to give up. I had one pregnancy test left in my bathroom and I was sick and tired of seeing it every time I walk in. So I hurried and took the test just so I wouldn't have to look at it anymore. As soon as one blue line started to make its way across the sensor, I just threw it in the trash and got in the shower. I knew I wasn't pregnant, so what was the point of seeing it when I've seen 7 tests like that already? Matt came in to do his hair and I told him that I didn't want anymore pregnancy tests in my house, I didn't want to talk about it anymore, and I didn't want to try anymore! I just wanted to live our lives, and if I got pregnant, than I got pregnant. Ok, I was a tad snippy and was being kind of a brat, but it was just so frustrating! So anyways, as I was washing my hair, I sent up a silent prayer to my Heavenly Father, asking what I was doing wrong. I knew that I was supposed to get off birth control in February, so why wasn't I getting pregnant? After that, I started to think of other things and shoved pregnancy out of my head. So when Matt says from the other side of the curtain, "Um, hun, what's this little blue line?" kind of alarmingly, I was confused. I was thinking, Great, blue line, we must have mold in our bathroom, now I gotta scrub the--- (then I peeked around the curtain)-- wait he's holding up my test. Could it be? Am I... No! "Blue line?" I asked sheepishly. "Yep. But you'll just have to wait until you get out to see it." So I hurry and get out and grab the test. There's a bright blue line and a faint line. Faint line? What does that mean?? Am I pregnant or am I not pregnant? Stupid test! If I'm not pregnant I'm suing! So Matt and I run to the store and buy two more tests. Yup... Pregnant. I am pregnant. Pregnant! Who's pregnant? ME!!! I am FINALLY pregnant! Here I am, doing my little happy dance in my head, but on the outside I'm keepin my cool, just hoping that this lasts. Then, I start to feel guilty. I spent the morning being grumpy and snippy, and then I actually am in fact pregnant! So I kiss my husband and he forgives me :) And we celebrate for the next few days, just keeping our little surprise to ourselves! ... and our banker, and the lady at the grocery store, and that random girl in one of my Boise State classes... Who are we kidding, we couldn't keep this blissful news to ourselves!!